Traveling today

Sigh!! I am new to this, so I am learning how to blog and write down my thoughts. I worry that this new interest will consume too much time. The computer, ie, internet can be quite addictive. As can my worry and frustration with dealing with my child.

Ironically, this afternoon, as my husband and I are driving up here to take child to the adaptive ski program at Windham, she has been whining and crying and moaning and wailing that she is hungry. I offer her a pear, an apple, a banana, pecans, almonds, cheddar popcorn, vitamin water. She wants Burger King and only Burger King. THis is a 14 year old. I want to dig in my heels, but I know to basically keep my mouth shut. It is hard to respond well with the racket she is causing. 

When we get to route 17 even she calms down a little-- realizing that this is a commercial strip which has the BK where we get her food. It still will be another 20 min. I know she hasn't eaten much today. Her eating habits are atrocious. She had OJ, rice cakes and strawberries for breakfast. No lunch. It is 4:30 by the time we get onto the interstate. After she has calmed I tried to get away from my earlier stance of you are making a choice and suffering the consequences by not eating some of what I have offered you. There is nothing wrong with this comment, but when she is having a meltdown, that comment will only make her angrier.  At this point I remind her that she should eat anything more frequently so her blood sugar doesn't get so low. I am sure she has learned about this in school. 

Ahhh...in my long winded way I am about to get to the ironic part: SO...we turn on WNYC and someone there is talking about having a sister with Asperger's. And there is reference to someone with a brother with Asperger's who talks all the time. And then there is a band that is playing for the UN that is made up of a group of "disabled" guys. One has Down's, another has Asperger, another autistic. And they call I think the group (unless it was the song) Rudely Interrupted. How appropo is that?  

Oh yuck, now I'm in italics and don't know how to get out. Guess I did finally. 

the guy with Asperger's said he doesn't understand social cues and interrupts people all the time. Validation! I do feel like my life has been rudely interrupted! I can imagine that lots of parents feel that way sometimes, but when your kid can't have a reciprocating conversation, and is very limited in her interests (more about that some other time), it can seem downright ghastly at times! 

So, it is already Jan 2. It is 1:05 am. I am going to try to describe what it is like to raise a girl who has been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. 

This is for her. Because one trait that is common for aspies, is in generalizing. She hated Luke Jackson's book, Freaks, Geeks and Asperger's...because she does not think of herself as a geek. She is 14 and struggling with experiences in her life that seem contradictory.

Like being told from early on how intelligent she is. She started reading in kindergarten. With great expression. So much for the flat tonality that is considered a trait! Unfortunately in 4th grade her teacher referred to her as genius. She is not! And as she has gotten older, she is realizing more and more she misses much! And when she does she remarks, "I'm stupid!". I explain that she is not stupid, but because of the way her brain is wired, she does miss perceive things. 

It breaks my heart. Though I am also glad that she is beginning to realize she does have problems. Perhaps one day she will be willing to work on them!!!